Showing posts with label Feelings Unlimited. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feelings Unlimited. Show all posts
October 20, 2011
Thought of the day
Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old...
September 12, 2011
Bowled by simplicity...
I met someone yesterday and since that meeting things have been disturbing for me. There was something in those discussions that's making me nervous. Yep nervous after all those years, really long long time. Is it because of a fear that things might go the other way? Probably yes or probably not. You know i've met a lot of folks and given up on a lot others and things haven't been this difficult at all. I mean i could just ignore this person as well with exactly the same filters that i've applied on others and moved on. But hey something is different in this case.
What could it be, i wonder? So far i've been filtering others because i thought they were just not upto the mark. Here is this person all capable but still wants to choose peaceful life over anything else. Not that others don't think the same but insanely and unknowingly everybody has become part of the mad race. Everybody is running behind something without even knowing what that something is. Can this person be all lazy and bozo to sit back just like many others i've met in last few years? Probably yes or probably not. No most probably not. It's not laziness because i could see there was a fear as well for the same reasons i'm afraid. But even more importantly there was fear about loosing freedom; freedom to decide what to do and what not to do. That is something i would respect a lot in any one.
What else? There was certain kind of calmness there despite all fears. Calmness that things will eventually be alright. In general i'm very proud of my energy level and enthusiasm. Was it that calmness that's bothering me right now? Does that mean i miss that calmness somewhere within myself? I was all excited talking about my experiences in terms of cuisines, music, dramatics, movies, friends and what not. And though i did see excitement on the other person's face; the other person seemed so unmoved and still all quiet and calm. Is that what's bothering me? Probably yes or probably not. I wasn't trying to boast about myself and my experiences. To be honest i don't know why was i talking about all that? But hey i've been talking about this to other folks too and i never felt bad about it. I never exaggerated about anything to anybody (not even to this person). Besides i'd to keep the conversation flowing so i did what i thought was appropriate. So probably that's not what's bothering me.
What's bothering me then? It's been long that somebody asked me a straight question and put me into thoughts. This person did. No the question wasn't something new or unique. But it was something that i'd forgotten to ask myself for quite sometime now. This person in question also made me think about certain other side of me that i never thought existed and i couldn't appreciate about myself. Yes probably that's bothering me. Like i said i've met many other folks but it was this person who showed me something different about myself. Contrary to all the fancy stuff i was excited about, this person through calmness and simplicity showed me how simplicity could be so difficult to achieve. Yes bingo that's what it is! That's what is bothering me. ... and i'm still thinking about that simplicity and that person...
What could it be, i wonder? So far i've been filtering others because i thought they were just not upto the mark. Here is this person all capable but still wants to choose peaceful life over anything else. Not that others don't think the same but insanely and unknowingly everybody has become part of the mad race. Everybody is running behind something without even knowing what that something is. Can this person be all lazy and bozo to sit back just like many others i've met in last few years? Probably yes or probably not. No most probably not. It's not laziness because i could see there was a fear as well for the same reasons i'm afraid. But even more importantly there was fear about loosing freedom; freedom to decide what to do and what not to do. That is something i would respect a lot in any one.
What else? There was certain kind of calmness there despite all fears. Calmness that things will eventually be alright. In general i'm very proud of my energy level and enthusiasm. Was it that calmness that's bothering me right now? Does that mean i miss that calmness somewhere within myself? I was all excited talking about my experiences in terms of cuisines, music, dramatics, movies, friends and what not. And though i did see excitement on the other person's face; the other person seemed so unmoved and still all quiet and calm. Is that what's bothering me? Probably yes or probably not. I wasn't trying to boast about myself and my experiences. To be honest i don't know why was i talking about all that? But hey i've been talking about this to other folks too and i never felt bad about it. I never exaggerated about anything to anybody (not even to this person). Besides i'd to keep the conversation flowing so i did what i thought was appropriate. So probably that's not what's bothering me.
What's bothering me then? It's been long that somebody asked me a straight question and put me into thoughts. This person did. No the question wasn't something new or unique. But it was something that i'd forgotten to ask myself for quite sometime now. This person in question also made me think about certain other side of me that i never thought existed and i couldn't appreciate about myself. Yes probably that's bothering me. Like i said i've met many other folks but it was this person who showed me something different about myself. Contrary to all the fancy stuff i was excited about, this person through calmness and simplicity showed me how simplicity could be so difficult to achieve. Yes bingo that's what it is! That's what is bothering me. ... and i'm still thinking about that simplicity and that person...
August 30, 2011
Thought of the day...
Everytime i thought i'd a plan and i knew where i was going, He unveiled His plans and a diversion. So far the dots have connected, i'm just waiting for the next set of dots. :-)
April 17, 2011
shayari
मुझसे कहा खुदा ने, मत कर इन्तजार इस जनम में उसका मिलना मुश्किल है
मैंने भी कह दिया, लेने दे मजा इन्तजार का अगले जनम में तो मुमकिन है
उसने कहा, मत कर इतना प्यार बहोत पछतायेगा
मुश्कुरा के मैंने कहा, देखते हैं तू कितना मेरी रूह को तड्पाएगा
फिर उसने कहा, हटा उसे चल तुझे जन्नत की हूर से मिलवाता हूँ
मैंने कहा, आ नीचे देख मेरे प्यार का मुस्कुराता चेहरा तुझे जन्नत की हूर भुल्वाता हूँ
तिलमिलाकर कहा उसने, मत भूल अपनी औकात कि आखिर तू है तो एक इंसान
मैंने कहा "तो मिला दे मुझसे मेरे प्यार को और साबित कर कि तू ही है भगवान्"
(credits: my sister)
मैंने भी कह दिया, लेने दे मजा इन्तजार का अगले जनम में तो मुमकिन है
उसने कहा, मत कर इतना प्यार बहोत पछतायेगा
मुश्कुरा के मैंने कहा, देखते हैं तू कितना मेरी रूह को तड्पाएगा
फिर उसने कहा, हटा उसे चल तुझे जन्नत की हूर से मिलवाता हूँ
मैंने कहा, आ नीचे देख मेरे प्यार का मुस्कुराता चेहरा तुझे जन्नत की हूर भुल्वाता हूँ
तिलमिलाकर कहा उसने, मत भूल अपनी औकात कि आखिर तू है तो एक इंसान
मैंने कहा "तो मिला दे मुझसे मेरे प्यार को और साबित कर कि तू ही है भगवान्"
(credits: my sister)
October 23, 2010
C'est la Vie
I met old moments of happiness today,
all overjoyed.
In the end it left me with an emptiness
with the feeling of a deep loss
that it's been long lost
forever, from my life.
And then i cried... again!
Again with me and for the first time all of me...
all overjoyed.
In the end it left me with an emptiness
with the feeling of a deep loss
that it's been long lost
forever, from my life.
And then i cried... again!
Again with me and for the first time all of me...
September 05, 2010
तलाश...
This poem has been taken from a scene in "Leaving Home", the documentary on the indian musical band "Indian Ocean". The way Asheem quoted this, it just touched me.
यूँ निकल पड़ा हूँ सफ़र पे मैं, मुझे मंजिलों की तलाश है
नए रास्ते नए आसमां, नए हौसलों की तलाश है
जहाँ बंदिशों की हो हद खत्म, उस हसीं शहर की तलाश है
जहाँ रंग-ओ-खुशबू का हो मिलन, मुझे उस उफक की तलाश है
मुझे मंजिलों की फिकर नहीं, मुझे रास्तों से प्यार है
जो मेरे साथ साथ चल सके, उस हमसफ़र की तलाश है...
June 17, 2009
Thought of the day
सोचते थे...पानी से जुदा होकर ये मछलियाँ इतना क्यों छटपटाती है. . .ना मालूम था. . .नज़दीकियाँ आदत और आदत...अक्सर ज़िंदगी बन जाती है.....
-गुलज़ार
-गुलज़ार
June 12, 2009
आहट तन्हाई की...
.....
पता नहीं क्यूँ आज
ठन गयी है खुद से ही खुद की
मन मस्तिस्क में हो गयी है
न जाने क्यूँ एक अनबन सी
शायद, शायद दूर कहीं सुन पड़ी है
आहट तन्हाई की...
हमें एहसास न था कि
एहसास भी हम कर पाए कभी
कि तेज तीछन धारा से
तट की ओर भी आयें कभी
बढ़ते ही गए हम
बढ़ते ही गए हम...
लगता है जरूरत आन पड़ी अब
एक सुनहरे पड़ाव की
जो मन ने सुन ली है अब
आहट मेरी तन्हाई की...
- सुधीर कुमार सिंह
Full version @ http://www.ee.ucla.edu/~suds/aahat-tanhai-ki.pdf
April 08, 2009
2009, so far...
Its been a really happening start, no i mean it. Too many things happened in a very short span, few things i kind of hasted my way, few just happened without my noticing, few i just did without thinking much. In totality, really a lot.
In Jan i found myself thinking a lot about a career decision and i somehow got it mixed with an emotional decision. It seemed like a dream opportunity that i was looking for the whole of 2008 but it didn't come my way then. Ultimately when it came up in Jan 2009, i just let it go. The decision wasn't easy, i was so confused, for few days it was complete mess going on in my mind. There was even one day, when i felt i couldn't work any more and left office in the afternoon without knowing where i was going and why i was going. Fortunately, there was a phone call before i kicked my bike and it kind of showed me a way to let things loosen up. And i let the opportunity go...in peace! Never been so restless before, but this was the first time and second time happened soon thereafter within a month or two.
And today when i'm writing this, i don't know if that decision was right or wrong. Whether that emotional moment weakened me. But i still feel great about it. Ahh the least i don't regret it. :)
Many other things came along. I did things that i never thought i would do in my life. I mean i always thought those things were kinda stupid and you have to be really serious or really funny to do them. I did them because i just felt like doing them, without any thoughts and today i'm glad i didn't think much then. There were times when i drove 50kms to and fro bunking office, ditching some of my friends' plans (haha, that was real fun!), always running to be in time [ahh, if you know me, you must be knowing that i hate to be late and also that even though its been more than 2 years in this city, i hate the complex routes here and the traffic huha, that sucks!!!]. Still it was an awesome time i was having. One midnight i drove in total bizarre mood, again those 50kms. Man that was some night, probably to remember life long now. :)
But the fun part got over very soon, sooner than i expected. May be i made haste, may be my perception was wrong, may be things were not meant to be the way i thought they were going or they had the potential to go.. ahh too many 'may be's!!! I hate this part when things are hazy and you are floating in clouds of doubts :-) The only good take away was that i did try my best, probably more than i knew i could. While i were at these stuffs, i was reminded once about the Bhagvad Geeta shloka "Karm-anyev-a-adhikaar-aste maa falesu kada-a-cha-na, maa karm-fal-hetur-bhurma te sango-astaw-karman-i" (all you command is the right to do your job, you have no rights on the outcomes; the results should not be your motivation to do your job, and the lack of it should not demotivate you to not do it either). I've always been a firm believer of "Deserve then desire" and all that happened or i did, happened just like that. I didn't plan it, i never expected things to happen, it just happened and i let it happen without any expectations. The way things were moving, it just created new expectations and that's where i guess things went wrong. Anyways all bygones are bygones and there is no point remembering them. The goods will always remain as fond memories for time to come and i will cherish them till then. :)
All this happened in last 3 months. whoooa.. what a quarter!! :) But i'm putting up few changes here and there now. I was asked a question recently "what exactly do i want?" Now that's something intriguing, it wasn't about good food, good dress or whatever else, it forced me to think what exactly i wanted from my life. So about the changes, like someone intelligent said "change is inevitable, either bring it yourself or someone else will bring it. in the later case, you might not like it"; i've decided to pull them on my own. Inspired by aaloo (remember him?), i've become regular to office gym now. I've joined Fitness one as well for weekends, so that the habit/routine doesn't break. Its been working for me as of now. If we haven't met in last one year or so, i've lost some 8kgs in a year :) Ahh, something to be happy about, finally! I'm planning to buy a piano soon. Looks like it won't be too costly, more on this once i get it and start playing something on it. :) I've decided to put few more changes on my lifestyle, the way i dress, the way i take things and life around me. I can't put things in words here, but you will feel it if we are meeting after quite sometime. Few more trekking and vacation plans are on way, lets see, i'm looking forward to a good time soon...
So what made me write this post today? Well while so many things happened in my life, things were not going so good with few close friends of mine too. Two of my friends had their final breakups beginning this year. Today i got to know that another uncle is planning to leave for higher studies in US. There are too many uncertainties that surround him and his mind, and the most important being someone special for him. If i had been in his place, i would have kicked such things for sure. I mean you must be really lucky to get someone special in the first place, and once you have it, you can't just put it at risk or let it go. But he is also right at his stand, after all he is doing/planning things with her approvals and for their better future. Whatever somewhere somehow i'm feeling bad about this confusion for these guys. Have been close to them and this idea kinda scares me about them.
Not sure where things are going and what more i'm to see this year. :D But 2009 is definitely the year of change and its not just the "obama change" in USofA :p, its going to be big changes in my life too. I'm already expecting few more changes soon. Kabutar has moved out to a separate place, bittu is planning to move in with his friends too. RPG would be getting married in next few months, aaloo/BK are also in the line. So if all that happens, i will be the only jhandu left in this house. :) Man i need to do something, what... i don't know! :D Let me think more on it; but i don't want to. I decided few weeks ago, i won't create too many "but still"s in my mind and worry about the present only. So lets see how things go on their own. I will post here more in case i get overwhelmed again with things. Till then...
In Jan i found myself thinking a lot about a career decision and i somehow got it mixed with an emotional decision. It seemed like a dream opportunity that i was looking for the whole of 2008 but it didn't come my way then. Ultimately when it came up in Jan 2009, i just let it go. The decision wasn't easy, i was so confused, for few days it was complete mess going on in my mind. There was even one day, when i felt i couldn't work any more and left office in the afternoon without knowing where i was going and why i was going. Fortunately, there was a phone call before i kicked my bike and it kind of showed me a way to let things loosen up. And i let the opportunity go...in peace! Never been so restless before, but this was the first time and second time happened soon thereafter within a month or two.
And today when i'm writing this, i don't know if that decision was right or wrong. Whether that emotional moment weakened me. But i still feel great about it. Ahh the least i don't regret it. :)
Many other things came along. I did things that i never thought i would do in my life. I mean i always thought those things were kinda stupid and you have to be really serious or really funny to do them. I did them because i just felt like doing them, without any thoughts and today i'm glad i didn't think much then. There were times when i drove 50kms to and fro bunking office, ditching some of my friends' plans (haha, that was real fun!), always running to be in time [ahh, if you know me, you must be knowing that i hate to be late and also that even though its been more than 2 years in this city, i hate the complex routes here and the traffic huha, that sucks!!!]. Still it was an awesome time i was having. One midnight i drove in total bizarre mood, again those 50kms. Man that was some night, probably to remember life long now. :)
But the fun part got over very soon, sooner than i expected. May be i made haste, may be my perception was wrong, may be things were not meant to be the way i thought they were going or they had the potential to go.. ahh too many 'may be's!!! I hate this part when things are hazy and you are floating in clouds of doubts :-) The only good take away was that i did try my best, probably more than i knew i could. While i were at these stuffs, i was reminded once about the Bhagvad Geeta shloka "Karm-anyev-a-adhikaar-aste maa falesu kada-a-cha-na, maa karm-fal-hetur-bhurma te sango-astaw-karman-i" (all you command is the right to do your job, you have no rights on the outcomes; the results should not be your motivation to do your job, and the lack of it should not demotivate you to not do it either). I've always been a firm believer of "Deserve then desire" and all that happened or i did, happened just like that. I didn't plan it, i never expected things to happen, it just happened and i let it happen without any expectations. The way things were moving, it just created new expectations and that's where i guess things went wrong. Anyways all bygones are bygones and there is no point remembering them. The goods will always remain as fond memories for time to come and i will cherish them till then. :)
All this happened in last 3 months. whoooa.. what a quarter!! :) But i'm putting up few changes here and there now. I was asked a question recently "what exactly do i want?" Now that's something intriguing, it wasn't about good food, good dress or whatever else, it forced me to think what exactly i wanted from my life. So about the changes, like someone intelligent said "change is inevitable, either bring it yourself or someone else will bring it. in the later case, you might not like it"; i've decided to pull them on my own. Inspired by aaloo (remember him?), i've become regular to office gym now. I've joined Fitness one as well for weekends, so that the habit/routine doesn't break. Its been working for me as of now. If we haven't met in last one year or so, i've lost some 8kgs in a year :) Ahh, something to be happy about, finally! I'm planning to buy a piano soon. Looks like it won't be too costly, more on this once i get it and start playing something on it. :) I've decided to put few more changes on my lifestyle, the way i dress, the way i take things and life around me. I can't put things in words here, but you will feel it if we are meeting after quite sometime. Few more trekking and vacation plans are on way, lets see, i'm looking forward to a good time soon...
So what made me write this post today? Well while so many things happened in my life, things were not going so good with few close friends of mine too. Two of my friends had their final breakups beginning this year. Today i got to know that another uncle is planning to leave for higher studies in US. There are too many uncertainties that surround him and his mind, and the most important being someone special for him. If i had been in his place, i would have kicked such things for sure. I mean you must be really lucky to get someone special in the first place, and once you have it, you can't just put it at risk or let it go. But he is also right at his stand, after all he is doing/planning things with her approvals and for their better future. Whatever somewhere somehow i'm feeling bad about this confusion for these guys. Have been close to them and this idea kinda scares me about them.
Not sure where things are going and what more i'm to see this year. :D But 2009 is definitely the year of change and its not just the "obama change" in USofA :p, its going to be big changes in my life too. I'm already expecting few more changes soon. Kabutar has moved out to a separate place, bittu is planning to move in with his friends too. RPG would be getting married in next few months, aaloo/BK are also in the line. So if all that happens, i will be the only jhandu left in this house. :) Man i need to do something, what... i don't know! :D Let me think more on it; but i don't want to. I decided few weeks ago, i won't create too many "but still"s in my mind and worry about the present only. So lets see how things go on their own. I will post here more in case i get overwhelmed again with things. Till then...
January 05, 2009
Thought of the day
Its about change, the only constant in life. You know its coming, every second and the very next second is different (there is a change). With time and experience, you may be able to identify few changes when and why they are coming; and then there will be few others which you won't be able to. Ask or not, they will come, for good or for bad. And by the human nature, you would resist. Either resist to hold the good times or try to run away from the bad times. But then you will realize, they are already there and the only thing you can do is hold onto yourself and let time flow like a cold breeze. Because when that breeze is gone there will be a new sunshine with new rays of hope. And when you look back on what the bad times have given you, you will see-"Things were not so bad after all."
January 03, 2009
My Present State of Mind...
Well yeah.. very confused state of mind. But as Neo states it - "The problem is choice". We make many conscious/unconscious decisions on these choices; few are right and few others are wrong. But our present and future both depend on these choices we make at different points of time. I own all my actions and choices i made for whatever reasons i made, after all those choices were my own and its me, only me responsible for it. [:)] No i've not committed anything wrong, its just an illusion between what could be and what can be good for me that confuses me at times. And since i've already made that decision, its time to own it and move on, in a new direction, for a new challenge. For you don't know what lies ahead until you begin the journey... only when you reach there, that you know whether that choice, your own choice that you made in past, was the right one or not... and so i keep walking, on and on and on...
October 22, 2008
Something i wrote on my birthday eve
Sometimes ago,
I was at 26th floor.
It was all shinning,
even though i saw few people whining
I gave them no care,
coz i had my cookies and change to spare
I had this guide
always by my side
he showed me the floor
we visited most of the stores
it was all so good
i'd a lot of good food
made couple of good friends
always ready with their helping hands
there was music and then there was drama
lots of fun and lots of karma
but hell!! the clock was ticking
and the escalator was moving
it reached the next floor
without even my knowing
the machine greeted me
in a human voice
I'd reached 27th floor
it suddenly was different, I didn't feel nice
hey where is the guide?
where are those cookies?
I find myself lost here
without clear skies
There are few stars
but no moonlight
I see dark clouds
giving a very bad fight
stores are there
and i've the money
but the cookies are different
that i don't like
new people new ways
i'm waiting for this floor to pass away...
I was at 26th floor.
It was all shinning,
even though i saw few people whining
I gave them no care,
coz i had my cookies and change to spare
I had this guide
always by my side
he showed me the floor
we visited most of the stores
it was all so good
i'd a lot of good food
made couple of good friends
always ready with their helping hands
there was music and then there was drama
lots of fun and lots of karma
but hell!! the clock was ticking
and the escalator was moving
it reached the next floor
without even my knowing
the machine greeted me
in a human voice
I'd reached 27th floor
it suddenly was different, I didn't feel nice
hey where is the guide?
where are those cookies?
I find myself lost here
without clear skies
There are few stars
but no moonlight
I see dark clouds
giving a very bad fight
stores are there
and i've the money
but the cookies are different
that i don't like
new people new ways
i'm waiting for this floor to pass away...
September 22, 2008
And i will remember.. (perhaps forever)
[PS: i was going through bunch of yahoo services i'm subscribed to, and bumped onto my good old briefcase folder. I'd not visited briefcase since last 2-3 years until now, but found couple of good old memories in it. This is the farewell poem i wrote for my classmates at KGP. Well i did forget to include couple of guys in the poem, i still feel sorry for it. Sorry to all of them for this was written in one night, that too post midnight when i just woke up and thought to write something with all the senti wenti stuff]
Here comes the end of one life
and all those fantastic years five
will miss those lemmas corrollaries and theorem
but thanks GOD, i wont have to prove any more of them
those classes and lectures, where sometimes we slept
and those horrible assignments which gave us no rest
those examination nights that we never slept
and those "help each other" promises that we always kept
those mischiefs of aaloo, those shoutings of BK
that crying Tiwari and cracku Pinaki
and let me recall fundoo mustu,
the guy with microsoft and DR 2
Yup giri is tough and mansi too sweet
sheetal is smart and banarsi broken heart
remember mr psycho and his unworldly thoughts,
and those teasings on Anjan and some small small fights
Nath, thanks for those treats back at your home
i'm still looking forward for few more of them
Had a great time with all you guys,
its now time to say you all good byes.
I wish i could speak more and more
but the time is limited and my heart getting sore
not because i've nothing more to add
but because i'll be leaving KGP and i'm a little bit sad
Love you kgp, dont forget me sweatheart,
coz you will remain alive forever in my heart
Here comes the end of one life
and all those fantastic years five
will miss those lemmas corrollaries and theorem
but thanks GOD, i wont have to prove any more of them
those classes and lectures, where sometimes we slept
and those horrible assignments which gave us no rest
those examination nights that we never slept
and those "help each other" promises that we always kept
those mischiefs of aaloo, those shoutings of BK
that crying Tiwari and cracku Pinaki
and let me recall fundoo mustu,
the guy with microsoft and DR 2
Yup giri is tough and mansi too sweet
sheetal is smart and banarsi broken heart
remember mr psycho and his unworldly thoughts,
and those teasings on Anjan and some small small fights
Nath, thanks for those treats back at your home
i'm still looking forward for few more of them
Had a great time with all you guys,
its now time to say you all good byes.
I wish i could speak more and more
but the time is limited and my heart getting sore
not because i've nothing more to add
but because i'll be leaving KGP and i'm a little bit sad
Love you kgp, dont forget me sweatheart,
coz you will remain alive forever in my heart
December 18, 2007
Balance sheet for 2007
Thats right.. balance sheet for 2007 :) Last few weeks have been really happening; for good and for bad. I was sitting y'night with my roomies discussing the ups and downs of the Indian stock market and why it happened (if at all we had any clues); and it came my mind that the entire year in my life has been like the sensex reaching peaks and touching craters; and i've no idea why. All-in-all its been a great year, for those achieved targets because they made me happy and confident; even for those failed wishes i couldn't fulfill because they made me learn quite many things. So i just thought to, well, list all the highs and downs and calculate my net gain/loss this year :D and started this post. However sorry to disappoint you it got too personal midway and so i left in between and moved to my secret notepad hosted by Y! Notepad. Couple of things that were really happening and can go on public record ;-) included my great job with great guys (was very much enjoying all that i was doing there and the people i was working with; with special mention of my mentor), made couple of trekkings with 3000, doggie, kabbu and rpg, found couple of school friends on social networks (met a few personally, promised others that i will meet them soon, though i'm yet to), lost some weight and learnt a bit of fitness mantra (hell, i had to spend quite some money for it), met few relatives on my couple of tours back home (it had been more than 5-8 years since the last time). Well thats it. I'm not going to share the failures, thats for me :D, both the learnings and failures..
July 23, 2007
Bad dream
I had a bad dream this early morning, bad enough to scare me out. I didn't want to start my blog with a bad thought but thats what life is, ain't it? Sometimes sweetheart, sometimes bitch!!! There have been multiple instances in past, when i thought a topic was worth blogging but never posted. I have already had couple of past attempts on blogging but was never able to continue my efforts. Here I'm back and this time I've decided to post all my rants and ramblings and expressible emotional thoughts here. Well yeah they might be censored a bit here and there but never mind i will try to flush the state of my mind every now and then.
Coming back to my bad dream, this was very personal to me and to keep reminding me what it was-"It scared me of my fast running life. It reminded me i had things to do that i had thought long back (uhh.. in college?). Things that are part of my life but my new hush-hush lifestyle has eaten all of that aspect. It reminded me there is nothing perfect in this world; not even something what they say a 'perfect timing'. So perhaps i need to slow down a bit and start my efforts towards those aspects of life. Well hell with all, i will; cause who knows what will be the next moment like; if we keep procrastinating, we might never be able to do what we thought was very close to our hearts."
I don't know what dreams are; but i think they are your own thoughts in your subconscious mind which keep reminding you about your weaknesses and strengths. Its just the human nature that we mortals are afraid of our weaknesses and a bad dream is just about that. I'm going to take this last dream as a challenge and do things that i always wanted to do. I hope i will succeed.. amen!!
Coming back to my bad dream, this was very personal to me and to keep reminding me what it was-"It scared me of my fast running life. It reminded me i had things to do that i had thought long back (uhh.. in college?). Things that are part of my life but my new hush-hush lifestyle has eaten all of that aspect. It reminded me there is nothing perfect in this world; not even something what they say a 'perfect timing'. So perhaps i need to slow down a bit and start my efforts towards those aspects of life. Well hell with all, i will; cause who knows what will be the next moment like; if we keep procrastinating, we might never be able to do what we thought was very close to our hearts."
I don't know what dreams are; but i think they are your own thoughts in your subconscious mind which keep reminding you about your weaknesses and strengths. Its just the human nature that we mortals are afraid of our weaknesses and a bad dream is just about that. I'm going to take this last dream as a challenge and do things that i always wanted to do. I hope i will succeed.. amen!!
February 14, 2007
Err.. i'm still bachelor
A little long, still worth reading for "bachelor"s and all those who are about to promote themselves to "married" level. Credits are due to the original author, though i'm not aware of him/her.
---begins----
It was not "someone" who called me a bachelor the first time. It was "something". The brown official-looking envelope I received by registered post that day had my degree certificate in it. 'Bachelor of...', it announced in somewhat gaudy letters as I stood smiling. Bachelor!
Till then I was a boy, a brother, a student and whatnot -- but not a bachelor. All of a sudden, that important piece of paper had given me a new identity.
I know you are dying to tell me things like 'this bachelor is not that bachelor', but believe me, the very next day my phone rang. It was my real-estate agent, an uneasy reminder to the approaching expiration of the initial company accommodation. "Sir, you are a bachelor, aren't you?"
"Sure, I am," I said, almost adding, "and now I have proof of that, if you need."
"Sorry sir. The owner is not willing to give the house to bachelors. But don't worry, sir, I have many other houses. You see..."
So that's how it is. No country for the people of Palestine. No food for starving Somalis. No trees for migrating birds. And yes, no houses for poor bachelors.
They are not welcome in residential areas. Bachelors party and make noise round the clock. They go after the neighborhood girls. They don't respect the norms of the colony. They come in groups...
Anyway, I learnt my lesson: Bachelors don't have all the civil rights that 'normal' citizens enjoy. But then, what do we have that makesmany a married guys cherish the memories of his long-lost bachelorhood?
Palestinians have to cling to their land. Migrating birds are bound by directions. But a bachelor has few restrictions. Except for renting an apartment and walking into those stupid 'couples only' clubs, he can have everything else.
He gets up at any time and sneaks into the office unnoticed when others get ready for lunch. He sits to almost any time in front of the computer without worrying about anxious where-are-you calls. He stays away from the house for days and no questions are asked. He does whatever he wants on the weekend, in the company of his friends...
Yes. Friends are the most important aspect of any bachelor's life. Without them he practically has no existence, especially if he's staying away from home.
But then one day, over the thundering music and the first round of cold beer in a dimly lit pub, he announces his plans to get married to this cute girl that someone else had found for him. Over the double cheers, the naughty comments and laughter, I become aware of something that hurts me somewhere.
My friend's getting married. Of course it's something to celebrate. But then, that also means he's leaving the gang!
[I can see this symptoms on few of you]
We attend his wedding, the most colorful function of his life, in full spirits. All of us. We give him gifts, wish him good luck and retreat to our good old world, one member less. It does not take much time before we find him reduced to much-delayed replies to our bunch of mails -- and as for phone calls, that comes only once in a blue moon.
For my part, I watch the pile of wedding invitations in the corner of my desk grow at an amazing, alarming pace. Before I know it, most of my cool buddies are gone. And the rest of us soon realize that we are not always welcome to the new circle the married men have formed. So we seek solace behind those office doors where the sun never sets.
I do meet my married friends occasionally. In the office, on a casual walk, or in a busy restaurant. They are my friends still. And they are still friendly as much as their new lifestyle and added responsibilities permit.
But...
Oh heck, there's my telephone. I think it is my real-estate agent again.
---ends----
---begins----
It was not "someone" who called me a bachelor the first time. It was "something". The brown official-looking envelope I received by registered post that day had my degree certificate in it. 'Bachelor of...', it announced in somewhat gaudy letters as I stood smiling. Bachelor!
Till then I was a boy, a brother, a student and whatnot -- but not a bachelor. All of a sudden, that important piece of paper had given me a new identity.
I know you are dying to tell me things like 'this bachelor is not that bachelor', but believe me, the very next day my phone rang. It was my real-estate agent, an uneasy reminder to the approaching expiration of the initial company accommodation. "Sir, you are a bachelor, aren't you?"
"Sure, I am," I said, almost adding, "and now I have proof of that, if you need."
"Sorry sir. The owner is not willing to give the house to bachelors. But don't worry, sir, I have many other houses. You see..."
So that's how it is. No country for the people of Palestine. No food for starving Somalis. No trees for migrating birds. And yes, no houses for poor bachelors.
They are not welcome in residential areas. Bachelors party and make noise round the clock. They go after the neighborhood girls. They don't respect the norms of the colony. They come in groups...
Anyway, I learnt my lesson: Bachelors don't have all the civil rights that 'normal' citizens enjoy. But then, what do we have that makesmany a married guys cherish the memories of his long-lost bachelorhood?
Palestinians have to cling to their land. Migrating birds are bound by directions. But a bachelor has few restrictions. Except for renting an apartment and walking into those stupid 'couples only' clubs, he can have everything else.
He gets up at any time and sneaks into the office unnoticed when others get ready for lunch. He sits to almost any time in front of the computer without worrying about anxious where-are-you calls. He stays away from the house for days and no questions are asked. He does whatever he wants on the weekend, in the company of his friends...
Yes. Friends are the most important aspect of any bachelor's life. Without them he practically has no existence, especially if he's staying away from home.
But then one day, over the thundering music and the first round of cold beer in a dimly lit pub, he announces his plans to get married to this cute girl that someone else had found for him. Over the double cheers, the naughty comments and laughter, I become aware of something that hurts me somewhere.
My friend's getting married. Of course it's something to celebrate. But then, that also means he's leaving the gang!
[I can see this symptoms on few of you]
We attend his wedding, the most colorful function of his life, in full spirits. All of us. We give him gifts, wish him good luck and retreat to our good old world, one member less. It does not take much time before we find him reduced to much-delayed replies to our bunch of mails -- and as for phone calls, that comes only once in a blue moon.
For my part, I watch the pile of wedding invitations in the corner of my desk grow at an amazing, alarming pace. Before I know it, most of my cool buddies are gone. And the rest of us soon realize that we are not always welcome to the new circle the married men have formed. So we seek solace behind those office doors where the sun never sets.
I do meet my married friends occasionally. In the office, on a casual walk, or in a busy restaurant. They are my friends still. And they are still friendly as much as their new lifestyle and added responsibilities permit.
But...
Oh heck, there's my telephone. I think it is my real-estate agent again.
---ends----
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