9 Life Lessons - Tim Minchin UWA Address

Why giving up anger and forgiveness is important... for nobody but YOU!

Came across this very interesting post and thought to collect few of the quotes mentioned over there:

1. Remember that we are all doing the best we can at the time. - Diane Paul
2. I know that I need to forgive someone, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind. Don’t do it for them, do it for you! - Cathryn Kent
3. You remember why you love them. Love is about forgiveness.- Holly Chapman
4. Give up on all hope of a better past. - Matt Child
5. Forgiveness comes easy when you know that what people say or do is about them, it’s not about you. - Kim Kings
6. “Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.”
7. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. – Thomas Szasz
8. True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment. – David Ridge
9. A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another’s limitations – Rose Sweet

I loved #1, #5 and #7 above. 

Emotions @ work

Found this interesting post day @ HBR Blog, here goes the summary to keep the thoughts handy:

The emotions people bring to work are as important as their cognitive skills, and especially so for leaders. 

Because it's not possible to check our emotions at the door when we get to work — even when that's expected — it pays to be aware of what we're feeling in any given moment. You can't change what you don't notice.

Negative emotions spread fast and they're highly toxic. The problem with the executive we let go was not that he was critical, but rather that he was so singularly focused on what was wrong that he lost sight of the bigger picture, including his own negative impact on others.

Authenticity matters because you can't fake positivity for long. It is possible to put on a "game face" — to say you're feeling one way when you're actually feeling another — but the truth will ultimately reveal itself in your facial, vocal, and postural cues. We must learn to monitor and manage our moods.

The key to balancing realism and optimism is to embrace the paradox of realistic optimism. Practically, that means having the faith to tell the most hopeful and empowering story possible in any given situation, but also the willingness to confront difficult facts as they arise and deal with them directly.

Thought of the day

मैं क्या जिया?
मुझको जीवन ने जिया...
बूंद बूंद पिया
पीकर पथ पे खली छोड़ दिया...

- सूरज का सातवाँ घोडा (श्याम बेनेगल)

Thought of the day

At a company I frequently visit, there is a woman who works at the entrance and hands out the tickets for valet parking. She's worked at her job for years. When I pulled up a couple of days ago, it was freezing outside, and she was all bundled up. Even so, when I got out of the car she greeted me effusively, as she always does. She called me "Sweetheart," she gave me a huge smile, and her energy lifted me up. As I was walking into the building, I heard her do the same thing for the next driver, and she sounded just as heartfelt. 

This is a woman who knows who she is, and why she's here. She adds value in the world. She doesn't for a moment let the limits of her job stand in her way.

I'm inspired by her. She reminds me that knowing why you're here, and who you want to be, isn't a part-time job. The challenge is to live out what you stand for, intentionally, in every moment. 

I fall short, frequently. Who doesn't? When that happens, my goal is to notice, as quickly as I can, to take responsibility for whatever I've done, and to make amends. I know why I'm here.

Excerpts from HBR post

Bowled by simplicity...

I met someone yesterday and since that meeting things have been disturbing for me. There was something in those discussions that's making me nervous. Yep nervous after all those years, really long long time. Is it because of a fear that things might go the other way? Probably yes or probably not. You know i've met a lot of folks and given up on a lot others and things haven't been this difficult at all. I mean i could just ignore this person as well with exactly the same filters that i've applied on others and moved on. But hey something is different in this case.

What could it be, i wonder? So far i've been filtering others because i thought they were just not upto the mark. Here is this person all capable but still wants to choose peaceful life over anything else. Not that others don't think the same but insanely and unknowingly everybody has become part of the mad race. Everybody is running behind something without even knowing what that something is. Can this person be all lazy and bozo to sit back just like many others i've met in last few years? Probably yes or probably not. No most probably not. It's not laziness because i could see there was a fear as well for the same reasons i'm afraid. But even more importantly there was fear about loosing freedom; freedom to decide what to do and what not to do. That is something i would respect a lot in any one.

What else? There was certain kind of calmness there despite all fears. Calmness that things will eventually be alright. In general i'm very proud of my energy level and enthusiasm. Was it that calmness that's bothering me right now? Does that mean i miss that calmness somewhere within myself? I was all excited talking about my experiences in terms of cuisines, music, dramatics, movies, friends and what not. And though i did see excitement on the other person's face; the other person seemed so unmoved and still all quiet and calm. Is that what's bothering me? Probably yes or probably not. I wasn't trying to boast about myself and my experiences. To be honest i don't know why was i talking about all that? But hey i've been talking about this to other folks too and i never felt bad about it. I never exaggerated about anything to anybody (not even to this person). Besides i'd to keep the conversation flowing so i did what i thought was appropriate. So probably that's not what's bothering me.

What's bothering me then? It's been long that somebody asked me a straight question and put me into thoughts. This person did. No the question wasn't something new or unique. But it was something that i'd forgotten to ask myself for quite sometime now. This person in question also made me think about certain other side of me that i never thought existed and i couldn't appreciate about myself. Yes probably that's bothering me. Like i said i've met many other folks but it was this person who showed me something different about myself. Contrary to all the fancy stuff i was excited about, this person through calmness and simplicity showed me how simplicity could be so difficult to achieve. Yes bingo that's what it is! That's what is bothering me. ... and i'm still thinking about that simplicity and that person...

Thought of the day...

Everytime i thought i'd a plan and i knew where i was going, He unveiled His plans and a diversion. So far the dots have connected, i'm just waiting for the next set of dots. :-)

Thought of the day

The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. I saw following possible sources for meaning:

• in work (doing something significant)
• in love (caring for another person)
• in courage (doing what was right even in difficult times)
• in acceptance (learning to move ahead with experiences from my mistakes and failures)

PS: this one again came from my sister :-)

Thought of the day

In my school days, I used to love those calculus problems with limit x tending to infinity. It still looks funny how a delta (tending to 0) brings meaning to something totally nonsense (like 1 divided by 0).

Chetan Bhagat Speech : Spark

I'm not a big fan of Chetan Bhagat but his speech published here really made it's point http://www.chetanbhagat.com/speeches/spark/ It has bits and pieces copied from other such stories but all credits go to him for combining everything in one; do read it whenever you get time.

Here are few interesting anecdotes from his speech:

• Don’t be serious, be sincere.
• Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
• Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those who do handle come out stronger. 
• If you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be. That's where and when magics happen.
• Be grateful for what you have and get the strength to accept what you don’t.
• Never make a compromise. Love thyself first and then anything else.

Personally i can relate to everything mentioned in the anecdotes above. I've been sincere to things that i cared about and at times have gone beyond the serious limits to make things go out of hand resulting in frustration. I've survived a lot of failures though very few would know and most would be surprised to know. I strongly relate to being at the extremes of self potential; i've seen magics happen for example when i lost more than 12+ kgs in 3 months. The last two are just my favorites because they have helped me survive and given me the strength to continue.

Thought of the day

"Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it" - Irv, Cool Runnings

Thought of the day

i'm not perfect and may be i'll never be; but its you who makes me want to be perfect and that's why i love you...

Thought of the day...

.. and then you realize
there is so much of life yet to live
and that you can't hold on to past
that can't be fixed

there is a future waiting for you
a new morning, a new sunlight,
new aspirations, new dreams, new hopes,
and new moments of happiness for you...

Amen!

QOTD

Disappointment is for those who have appointments with the future.

Again taken from "Leaving Home" - the documentary on indian musical band "Indian Ocean"

Thought of the day...

"Life’s not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it's about doing, being and becoming. It's about the choices you've just made, and the ones you're about to make, it's about the things you choose to say - today. It's about what you're going to do after you finish reading this." ---Mike Dooley

Thought of the day...

"लहरों से डरकर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती.
असफलता एक चुनौती है स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गयी देखो और सुधार करो.
जब तक न सफल हो नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्षों का मैदान छोड़ मत भागो तुम,
कुछ किये बिना ही जय-जयकार नहीं होती...
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी भी हार नहीं होती!"

-हरिवंश राय बच्चन

Thought of the day...

Being fearless isn't being 100% not fearful, it's being terrified but you jump anyway.

In similar words "Throw yourself to the wolves and learn from the bites.. ;-)"

Interesting 45 things to ponder about...

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland,
Ohio - "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21. Burn the candles,.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,
will this matter?

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone, everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39..Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come. – (Always! ;-))

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

PS: you might also like the following

• http://matkahtml.blogspot.com/2008/11/sunscreen-by-baz-luhrman.html
• http://matkahtml.blogspot.com/2007/12/golden-rules-for-career-success-by.html

Interesting reads from hbr blog

1. 
   To Get What You Want, Don't Go With Your Gut
   


2. 
   Four Rules for Effective Negotiations
   

After reading these posts, i realized how miserable i was in a recent negotiation (i was desperately looking for a +ve outcome but lost it even before i could start presenting my side of the case)... definitely worth reading; not sure how much a reading can help but something is better than nothing. And in my way of thinking, first step towards fixing a problem is to realize that there is a problem. :-)

Thought of the day...

... well, i always thought its funny;
and yesterday i realized it really is (yep, i did)!
and then i thought why the hell it took so long for the realization?
...then i felt this thought itself is funny;
finally to conclude that i "think" too much!